Well its over for another year

Hi All

Its been a while since I wrote anything on my blog.

My personal life has not been easy. as you all know my mum died just before Christmas, I did manage to do Christmas, It was strange, I did smile, I did laugh but inside was telling a different story, I had my dad over for the day and we had a quiet time together just reflecting on the past 2 weeks. I did find myself thinking, must tell mum that and then remembered she was not there, but enough of the sadness, its time to pick up my life again and start to look forward to doing things I enjoy.

My dad brought me a lovely present, a new dolls house

I was so pleased, but it has left me with a problem, I had brought a dolls house from ebay, it needed work on it and this was going to be my project of the year, so now I have 2 dolls houses to sell, I am going to sell my shabby chic shop, I need to make room for my new dolls house, 

Anyway, what a present, I was overjoyed with it and did not expect it, It will be a ladies emporium, with a gentleman's  outfitters, well that's the  idea so far, for now it will sit in its box till I am ready to start on it.

I have got to get some of my other miniatures finished first.

This year I hope to have a web site so I can sell my miniatures direct, ebay is getting more expensive with its charges.  Any advice on starting a web site will be gratefully received.

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and got lots of lovely surprises,

See you all soon

sad news

Hi All

I have sad news, my mum passed on Sunday, it was very peaceful.  I had made a promise to my mum that I would always nurse her and would never let her go into a nursing home or die in hospital and I am very pleased that I was able to fulfill my promise.

It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but I am glad as I was able to spend time with my mum on my own, we had some lovely chats and shared memories, 

I was with her when she took her last breath, I held her hand as she went to her resting place.

Her funeral is next Thursday, we wanted it before Christmas, in the new year I and my dad will clear and sort things, but for now that is not important.

I am now home and to be honest I am glad, I do not know how I did it, I just told my body that I would ignore my illness and I will pick it up later, this time is for my mum and my problems do not exist. I spent last night in a bed the first time in over a week, and I slept, at one time I had been awake for over 36hrs, I am now very tired and have a lot of pain, I knew I would suffer for it. So I am going to take it very easy and rest and hope it will not take my body long to recover.

Thank you all for all your kind words and thought you have sent me

will be away for a while

Hi All

we are hoping that my mum is coming home from hospital this Monday, I am moving home to nurse her, we have been told she does not have long left and I always promised her that she would never die in hospital or go into a home and I would nurse her, so that is what I will be doing, its going to be hard, it is different when I was a nurse, caring was easier as I was not involved personally,  anyway thats it for now, I will be back but for now my mum comes first xx

We now know

Hi All

Well we now know, mum's cancer is spreading, she has small cell carcinoma in her lungs and breast bone, they want her to start chemo immediately, she asked to have the weekend to think about it, but when she got home the hospital rang and wanted her to come in, she had bloods taken and the results were not good and they needed her in to monitor her and to get her bloods back to normal. I went to see her yesterday and was shocked, she looked very grey and very ill, in a few days she had changed so much.
Mum has made a decision and has decided she does not want to have the treatment, she had spoken to the doctor that morning and has been told she has about 6mths,  she may change her mind, but for now we have to accept her decision and make the most of the time we have left with her, it will be very hard. By the time we left we had got mum laughing and joking, my dad and I spoke about it on the way home, and he is going to tell the rest of the family her decision.

On a bit better note, I finished my stable, thank god I have minis to keep me sane and occupied.
I am very pleased with this project, I always wanted a horse so this had made my dream come true, even though it is in mini, I have my imagination. Have a look

Mondodifavola: { Giveaway time ! }

Mondodifavola: { Giveaway time ! } enter this great give a way,

I am making progress

Hi All

Well mum goes to the hospital tomorrow to get the results of her lung biopsy, we should know what they are going to do and what the prognosis is, I am praying hard for some good news.


Anyway lets talk about my project, I have done a lot more to the stable,I made some shelves for the tack room and added some bits to it, I was surprised when I opened my my box of stash I had collected for this project. I have so much, more than enough for the shop that is going to go along side the stable, there will be a surprise for you as well, I have an idea for the shop, it will specialise in something special, I just have to work out how to do it, I know I never make things easy for myself, but I love a challenge and buggar is this one going to be a challenge.

Well I have bored you enough, have a look at my photos and see what I have done

back to doing miniatures

Hi All

My mum is still waiting for treatment to start, she had a biopsy last week and then hopefully we will know what they are going to do.

I will admit I have been very depressed, which is unlike me, but this time when normally I can switch off and get on with other stuff, for my own sake I had to get back to doing my miniatures, so I have decided to do something that I had an idea for some time ago,

I want to do a stable with a small tack room, a small area for the horses and a shop that sells all kinds of horsey stuff, but also specialises in  Arabian horse costumes, there I have told you now, so I must do it. I have not made it easy for myself, I cannot find much in miniature in this subject, so I am using my imagination  and hopefully it will work.

So let me show you what I have been up to.

this is what I had to make into my stables

one of my horses, I made a dividing wall, the smaller side will be a little tack room

using egg cartons for the outer stone work

I used lolly sticks for the floor

base colour for the stone work 

I used mount board for the roof, cut and shaped to look like tiles and then base colour added

saddle holder and saddle

2 saddle holder made from balsa wood

Well there it is I have started.

just to let you know

Hi All

Mum saw her consultant today, they have said her cancer has spread, she is to have a ling biopsy next week and then he will know how to treat it.

Slightly confused, as he has said it is treatable not curable, but how can he tell if he needs to do a biopsy to find out what type of cancer it,  anyway, I am going to go over a couple of times a week and my dad has now given up his part time job to become her carer, I just want to spend as much time as I can with my mum.

I will still be doing my minis, I need to it helps to distract me and for a while I can lose myself,  I have physio Friday so I am hoping I can start to do more with my arm.

So that's it my news for now, 

life carries on

Hi All

yes life carries on, just thought I would let you know an update, I have had my stitches out and able to move my arm more, got physio soon. I have been doing a few minis, just tiny stuff. I am busy sorting through my bead collection. Its one of those jobs that you never get round to doing.

My dad has decided to sell off his railway collection and he is giving me some of his storage cabinets and drawers, I can always make use of them. I will have the job of putting them on ebay for him. 

Now for my mum, she has an appointment next Wednesday, so we will know then what he is going to do. She has not been to good, the Doctor put her on steroids to try to ease her breathing. I spoke to her last night and she was very upset, she even said she would ask the Doctor to send her to hospital as she was so fed up with feeling so ill, I found this very upsetting and had a few tears when I came of the phone, for my mum to say that, she is someone who would never go into hospital for any reason. I feel so helpless, I am not able to go over very often, I ring her everyday sometimes twice a day, I am going over tomorrow just to be with her.

I am someone who never talks about my feelings and am always the one who every one turns to and am re guarded as the strong one,  I just want someone to be strong for me, to hold me and tell me it will be ok, I am dreading next week and will be waiting at her house for her to come back.

I lost my dad when he was 56, it was sudden and unexpected, I lost my daughter just before her 4th birthday and I knew she had a condition tat was slowly killing her, and I do not know which is worse, the sudden or the waiting. Looking at my mum now I do not know how she can carry on, her breathing is so bad, she struggles every day,  I want to take it all away, hold her and never let her go. My step-dad is trying so hard to be positive, and he comes over to see me, for me to hold him and comfort him. 

I sit here now, with tears flowing, but in some way this is giving me comfort, know I can write my feelings down and you care, thank you all for the support you are giving me, I know on here I can say what I feel.

well life goes on and I had better put on my smile and face the day ahead

A quick update

Hi All

Just thought I would pop in and update you all on what is happening in my life.

My shoulder is gradually recovering, I am able to move it, but only from the elbow, I am no longer on any extra pain control, I exercise everyday, and can move my hand and lower arm quite easier now. The nurse is still coming in twice a week to do the dressings and I should have the stitches out later this week.

My mum, we are still waiting to see what the doctors are intending to do,  she is very positive and says she will beat this. My brothers and I went over on Sunday, is was a lovely visit, some tears, very positive thoughts and lots of laughter, it is not very often that we all get together and my mum really enjoyed it. I was a bit shocked at the amount of weight she has lost and how tired she is. I ring her every day and try to visit as much as I can. It is difficult as I can no longer drive, so I have to rely on others for transport. 
I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all your kind words and wishes. it gives me a warm feeling to know you care.

It makes me think, we do not know each other, we have never met, but through the web, we are able to communicate, give support, encourage and laugh, you are always there, its like having a new family, that you can talk to, you never judge, you are just there. I for one am very grateful that I have you to turn to.

I am missing my minis, but I am trying to  be productive during my in-forced rest, I am sorting out my work room, labelling and creating better storage for my minis. Yesterday I decided to put white card at the back of the small cubby holes in my printers drawer, and then put my collection in a better order, they look very good now, and my tiny minis stand out and can be seen better. I will try to get a photo for you to see.
I have gone through my fabric stash (how did I get so much) and separated them into boxes and labelled them, patterned, checks, silks and so on, will be a lot easier for me when I am looking for fabric.

I now want to go through all the furniture and small miniatures I have collected and sort them into bits I want to keep, by the time I am able to start making minis again, I shall be so organised, but I bet it will not take me long to muck it all up.

I have been keeping up to date with all your blogs and I follow them with interest.
I have been collecting ideas for my next lot of mini making, so you see I am not being idle.

Don't you find Pinterest addictive, I have spent a lot of time on there, just looking at every thing that interests me, but once you start, you cannot stop.

so that's it a little update, see you all soon

up date

Hi All
well I have had my operation, was on the table for 4hours he found that my bones are very soft and does not think the anchor to the bone will work, have got to be very careful, will need a bone scan when arm healed to see if any more bones affected.

We have finally had the results of the scan for my mum and they have found lung cancer, so no we are waiting to see what they can do, 

Not  good week for either of us 

Just a quickie

Hi All

My mum had a full scan on Friday, so now we wait for the results, she has been having some good days and some bad, we are praying that they find nothing, but in my heart I feel they wont. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers and messages you have sent me, its a comfort to know that you care.

I have my operation tomorrow, it has not been cancelled yet, there is still time, so will be out of action for a while, as soon as I have learnt to use my left hand I will be back reading your blogs and catching up on all your news.

Thank you

Hi All
I want to say a big thank you for all your kind words and prayers, it meant a lot to me to know I can come on here, open my heart to you and you listen.
Some times it is easier to write then talk, and I am so grateful that I had you to listen to me.

We now have a date for my mums scans, they are this Friday, hopefully the results will be quick. Until we have all the facts, we do not know what is happening. That is the hardest bit, the unknown, we are all praying for her. She now has tablets for her constant sickness, they are working and she is able to eat now. We are all staying positive for her.

Miniatures I am afraid have gone out of the window, I try to start some thing and my mind goes, so I have put them to one side for now.

I go into hospital next Monday and will be home hopefully the next day, as long as every thing goes well. Then its no using my right arm for 3 weeks and then it can take up to 3 months for my arm to recover.

This week I will be going through the house making sure it has had a good clean, stocking up my food cupboards and generally getting myself ready for it, at least I will be occupied, which is a good thing.

Will try to keep you all updated on my news, until then, I again thank you for caring xx

Life hurts some times

Hi All

today this is not about miniatures, but I felt I could share this with my blog friends.

My mum has been poorly for some time and she has been back and forth to her doctor, no one could find out what was wrong. 2 weeks ago she said she has lumps in her neck, these have turned out to be cancer, we are now awaiting for her to have scans to see where the cancer is and to see if it is treatable.
 We are just recovering from finding out my sister in law has cancer and now this, I am devastated  my mum is not only my mum she is my best friend, she is the one I turn to first, she shares my ups and downs, she plays such a big part in my life, I am trying to be strong for her and my dad, but its hard.

In my life I have had much heart ache, I lost my daughter 2 weeks before her 4th birthday, my dad dies suddenly at 56, and now this, I am a strong person and have coped with the heart aches, but today I do not feel like coping and I want some one to be strong for me.

Busy busy

Hi All

Yes I have been busy, first I had a lot of my minis on ebay and guess what I sold nearly all of them, so this week I have put more on and already bids are taking place. I always love it when someone buys my creations it makes it all worth while. I am now thinking about having a web page to see if I can sell from there, any one got any advice they can give me? I thought after my arm operation I could spend my time looking at doing this, but to be honest not sure where I should start.

Yes my operation is back on, 14th October, barring any problems, I know I said I would not get excited or prepared for it. I have been making meals and freezing them, my house has been cleaned, my nighties pressed. But until they are actually wheeling me into the theatre will I believe it. Still not looking forward to being out of action for some time, especially as we are leading up to Christmas, never mind at least I should get waited on.

Anyway enough of me rabbiting on, away to do more cleaning, at least I have stopped making shoes!!!!

still addicted and its spreading

Hi All
thank you all for your kind comments.

I think it is not just shoes I am addicted to, I am now painting small minis, I think its the paint, it has mysterious properties, it makes you want to keep opening the small tins and dipping a brush in it. have a look at what I have done

I have gone shoe crazy

Hi All

Help I have gone shoe crazy, it started because my friends on face book asked me to make shoes to sell, no problem says me but they have taken over my life, I have become addicted, have got photo's to show you.

I cannot get going on my shoe shop project, with my operation looming  I do not want to start something and then not be able to finish it.

so here is my shoe addiction, well they are cheaper than the real life ones 

I have a new hobby

Hi All

Yes I have a new hobby.its making cakes, I have always wanted a food processor and finally a few weeks ago I got one, now my success with cake making in the past has brought many comments from my family, not many good ones, I would get "lovely mum, just what I wanted a doorstop" but with my new machine I am producing cakes that would look good in a shop window, so I cannot stop making them, I have been sticking to Victorian sponge and coconut cakes, this week I want to get more adventurous, will let you know how I get on and maybe take a photo, the only thing it does not help the waist line.

Well I have heard from the hospital and I have a new date for my operation, its 14th October, this time I will not get excited I will just turn up and hope it finally happens.

It has been very difficult to get stuck in to mini making, I do not want to start any big projects as I know I will not be able to do anything for a while, but want to make something, I have been working on small projects, hope to have some photos for you soon.

I went into town yesterday, its a lovely walk, I have to go over the bridge and this year we have got a family of swans, mum, dad and 4 babies, I took some photos to show you. Have a look

I have a date

Hi All

I have got another date for my operation, its the 14th October, so again I will have to have injections a week before, my belly has only just recovered from the last time, I will be in a couple of days and they will have an ITU bed in case I need it, so there we have it, I am beginning to feel this is my ground hog day.

I have been working on some minis, have not started my shoe shop as I do now want to leave it unfinished, so have been busy making ladies accessories sets, hopefully there will be free listing on ebay this weekend so I can get them on.

I must talk about the weather, its bloody cold have got my heating on, but then they tell us this weekend its going to be hot again.
Enough of me rambling on here are the photo's

new minis

Hi All

after my disappointment of my shoulder op being cancelled, I found it hard to get my mind back into doing things, I was mentally prepared for doing nothing, I sat in my work room waiting for inspiration and bang there it was, I have  shop that I am going to use to make my shoe shop, but some how that did not get me going, but I fancied doing some ladies accessories in a modern style, as Christmas is on the horizon I decided to make some sets that I will sell on ebay, anyway enough of me nattering on, have a look at what I have done so far

bet you did not expect this

Hi All

are you ready for this, after getting myself all ready for my op on the Monday, I got a phone call on the Sunday night to tell me they were cancelling ops as they had a bed crisis, they did say I may have a bed at the treatment centre, but as I was a high risk they did not think I would have my operation, so I am now back to waiting, ever get the idea that I am not destined to have my shoulder repaired.

At least my house is spotless and I have meals in the freezer, so I suppose its not all bad

I am slowly getting my mind set into doing minis again, I am working on ladies dressing table accessories, hopefully I will have some photos for you later today.

Recovering

Hi All
Thank you all for your lovely messages.

I have recovered from the wedding, Tom and Amy came round on Monday, they brought me a lovely display of flowers and are going to Tanzania for 10 days, flying out Tuesday, I told my son " that's it now you are married its socks and aftershave for Xmas, as I am saving for the grandchildren I am sure they are going to give me" got a strange funny look, never mind waited this long an wait a bit more longer.

I have nit had time this week to make any minis, I have been getting ready for my op on Monday, I have filled the freezer and even cooked some meals, so they just have to be defrosted and my son an cook them, got loads of books, cleaned the house, sorted out nice night clothes, my rt arm will be out of use for 3 weeks and then it will be lots of physio to get it working again, not sure what I am going to be like not be able to do anything for a while, I am not the best person to sit and do nothing, I get bored easily, still it will be nice for a while to be waited on,

I have started my injections and already have the bruising to prove it. Today I am going into my work room to do something, not sure yet what I will be doing but hope to have something to show you tomorrow 

The Wedding

Hi All

well its over and it was a wonderful day, the sun was shining and we all had a great time, I was so proud, anyway enough of me gushing let me show you the photos , hope you enjoy them

my son Liam and me

the gardens

the piper

me and my son Thomas the groom

one of the many flowers displays

Amy and Thomas the happy couple

these were incredible

my mum and my son

me with Thomas and his dad

the family

my gift to them